I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient isÉ Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing? Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.

Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours. Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things likeÉlove! Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!

Inflammable means flammable? What a country. Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!

He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?! You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity. How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs