If you grew up any time around me, a child in the eighties, you likely also spent hour upon desperate hour trying to perfect the worm and the moonwalk. Some kids were better at it than others, and 99.99% of kids were better at it than me. Even this prancing pony puts my moves to shame:


Similarly, this rising star also sings better than I ever could and would make Tina proud:

I was going to suggest a new reality TV show “Horses Got Talent,” but it turns out our neighbors down under beat us to the punch:

Why oh why don’t my get-rich-quick schemes ever pan out? Maybe I should re-explore my original idea of becoming a professional Michael Jackson impersonator… surely that will pay my bills!