Here’s to alcohol, the cause of Ñ and solution to Ñ all life’s problems.

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skinÉbut what good does *that* do me? Jesus must be spinning in his grave! When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of powerÉlike God must feel when he’s holding a gun.

I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer no function beer well without. You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. Thank you, steal again. I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children