Why run a marathon when you can just ride a horse?

The fine folks at The Onion recently covered the New York City marathon in true Onion fashion, with an article on victor Meb Keflezighi’s “performance-enhancing horse.”

Per The Onion report, Keflezighi won the race aboard a 2- to 4-year-old chestnut Thoroughbred.

Race officials investigated after reports of, “remarkable speed, unusual race-day height, and distinctive ‘clip-clop’ gait, Keflezighi’s frequent nickering caused the other runners to speculate that he may have been using a horse in some fashion,” organizer Mary Wittenberg was quoted as saying